Provision by the cute lady on her 60th birthday

Micah and I were walking by a cafe this afternoon, when a couple of sweet older ladies stopped in their tracks to look into the stroller. If the story stopped there, it wouldn't be that weird, but...

One of the women said, "Oh, just look at her beautiful wee eyes! It is my birthday today, and that is the best thing I have seen all day!" Then, she proceeded to put some £ in Micah's stroller.

Ha! My kid gets paid because she's cute. Kinda weird, but it ended up being such a God moment- when Kirk and I ran to catch the bus home, I found out that my bus pass had expired and I needed to pay for my ride. Thanks to this lady, we had what we needed (Micah rode too, so hopefully it's not like I stole from her- haha).

That's all for today! God provides in funny ways! He takes care of His kids. More on that next time...

Tension

Oh, the tension that we live in as believers!

The balance between the love of God and the holiness of God- people are on both sides of the fence on this one, but I wonder if anything can get done when the two sides scream at each other in an effort to prove a point. Where are you, Jesus? Can you be honored in these skirmishes? I think we have to drop our weapons and let you speak.

The balance between speaking our desires and being content... so difficult, yet this is an area that draws us to know your heart more deeply. When should we hold off, and when should we "PUSH"? When should we beg for healing and when should we accept our situation? Oh, Jesus! Above all theological debates and religious frustrations, I know you want us to remember you.

The grey areas... where are you in these, Jesus? The only answer that makes sense is, "Come to me... I give rest...take my yolk upon you and learn from ME!"

In this 'tension' we find Jesus. He exists to turn everything on its head. He doesn't want stances without his Father's stamp on them. He doesn't want our good ideas to turn into programs that weren't meant to happen in the first place (especially if they weren't birthed from him).

Jesus, show us where you are, and we will join you. Show us your heart in the tension. Hold us closely, help us to follow you, and may you always keep us in the blessing of this tension... it means we are letting go of control and trusting you.

Thank you, Scotland!

Dear Scotland, 

I have been complaining a lot about your weather and the various inconveniences I have encountered since arriving, so I thought I would take a wee moment to tell you what I love about you. Here I go!

Thank you for heaters in the bathroom! I don't freeze when I get out of the shower, and that is a wonderful thing!

Thank you for serving tea, coffee, and biscuits everywhere I go! I love the cozy atmosphere you set. It helps with the weather blues.

Thank you for humor. So many of my new friends (who call you home) look at life's ups and downs and know how to laugh in the midst of them. I like that about you.

Thank you for exercise that is built into the lifestyle here. Though I am exhausted at the end of each day, I am thankful for your butt-kicking hills and the fact that we are car-less.

Thank you for free admission to museums and other historical venues. It gives this mama something to do!

Thank you for mum groups- I have so many to choose from!

And finally, thank you for giving my family and I a year to experience something new. Sure, it's different and sometimes challenging, but I know we will look back and smile at getting to spend so much time with you.

So, thanks, dear friend. We are almost halfway through our time with you, and I thought this was a good time to tell you I am a fan of yours (most of the time).

Sincerely,

Shelby 

I needed this today.

Today has been... well, just plain crappy.  I woke up hating the wet, windy weather here, mad that it takes numerous steps to get anywhere, losing a glove (not that big of a deal, I realize), and then losing my phone (that contains my contacts, and a lot of personal stuff).

I am so frustrated, and I really just want to jump on a plane and come home to convenience, family, and familiarity.  I know I typically write with a positive spin, but to be honest, I'm not feeling quite like Pollyanna today.  I really need to find my phone, and I have tried everything I know to do.  So now I just have to be patient and see if it turns up.

When I got back to the apartment, soaked like a wet dog, I opened my email to find this little devotional below.  I really need it today, because I certainly am not operating with the mind of Christ at the moment.  The part that really struck me (as you'll read for yourself below) had to do with feeling like we have the "strongest ground for taking up a certain attitude..."  Oh man, I feel like I have every reason to be frustrated right now, but I know I am allowing my frustration to cloud my view.  I'm thankful for God's constant ability to think clearly and perfectly.

We have the mind of Christ. (1 Corinthians 2:16)

Our natural mind is a great obstacle in the race which we are running, cropping up all the time with its complexes, its arguments, its interests and its methods. When the Corinthians were brought into the Church they left behind their obvious sins, but they carried over into their new realm the old, natural ways of thinking and reasoning which belonged to the world and not to the Spirit of God. But the apostle remonstrated with them: "But we have the mind of Christ" (1 Corinthians 2:16), so urging them to allow the Cross to be planted between the natural mind and the spiritual. We shall only come to the fullness of Christ as we leave behind the mind of the natural man and move on more and more in the progress of the mind of Christ. On everything; every judgment, every conclusion, every analysis, every appraisal; we must ask the Lord: "Is that Your mind, Lord, or is it mine?" We may sometimes feel that we have the strongest ground for taking up a certain attitude or coming to a certain conclusion; we may feel that we have all the evidence and so are convinced; and yet we may be wrong.

The man who wrote the letter to the Corinthians knew from deep and bitter experience that this was the case. "I verily thought... that I ought to do many things contrary to the name of Jesus of Nazareth," he said (Acts 26:9). There was no man who had stronger convictions as to the rightness of his course than Saul of Tarsus. The great revolution which took place in him when he came to Christ was that he had to say: "I have been all wrong in my fundamental way of thinking." After that confession he made good headway in the race because he was always ready to subject his thinking to the jurisdiction of his crucified Lord. This is the way of spiritual progress. We shall not get very far while we hold to our own opinions and our own conclusions, even though we may have the support of others; we have to learn to conquer our natural mind by submission to the mind of Christ. This is most important if we are concerned about spiritual progress. And spiritual progress is th e increase of Christ – there is no other.

By T. Austin-Sparks from: God's Purpose in All - Chapter 1  

Control. Why I want it and why it's so hard to surrender it.

Whew! I am delving into a deep issue here, but I feel it's a good one to talk about.

I can't speak for everyone, but I know I struggle with control issues. The most recent ones have concerned the health and safety of this sweet family of mine. Sometimes I toss and turn at night entertaining thoughts that are birthed from my own human, fallen mind (or worse, from our annoying enemy). 

I worry about Micah- is she warm enough? Is she too warm? Is she breathing? Is she eating enough? Is she reaching her milestones? The list goes on...

I worry about Kirk- is he feeling ok? Is he still trusting God with our finances and future? Did we make the right decision in coming to Scotland?

... and I worry about myself? Am I always going to be able to take care of Micah? Will my health stay as strong as it is? What if something happens to me? 

Do you know what my conclusion is? I know that all of these thoughts are a "normal" part of life, but I don't want to just let them pass by without actively fighting them by (ironically enough) handing them over to Someone who is far more capable to carry these and face them head-on.

I don't want to be this way (speaking in reference to my previously mentioned issue), but I'm not going to beat myself up about it. I'm learning how to receive grace in my weak moments and choose to trust God and His faithfulness and sovereignty in our lives.

The truth is I have no idea what may or may not happen to us today, tomorrow, or 5 years from now. One thing I can say (confidently) is that spending night after night wrestling and thinking I can direct us will only leave me more anxious, tired, and afraid.

Thank you, Lord, for giving us a way out of our fearful, worried condition. Thank You for holding our lives and our days in your hands! Thank you that your grace (by definition) gives us room to grow.

My prayer for all of us is that we may live more trusting, hope-filled lives. I pray that we may face each new day with one expectation- that God is already there greeting us, and He always will be. 

But now thus says the Lord,
he who created you, O Jacob,
    he who formed you, O Israel:
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
    I have called you by name, you are mine.
2 When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
    and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;
when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,
    and the flame shall not consume you.
3 For I am the Lord your God,
    the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.

Isaiah 43: 1-3a

Our unexpected Christmas/Boxing Day gift

Today was a good day, although it began with my usual December 26, post-Christmas sad face. I'm still a child at heart, and it doesn't matter how many Christmases go by in my life; I am always a teary-eyed little girl at the end of Christmas (a little confession). Oh well, that's just me, I guess!

When we woke up this morning, I told Kirk that I would love to go out and have some sort of adventure. After all, he is taking 10 days off to be on "holiday", and now is the time to make the most of it! It took us awhile to come up with an idea, but we eventually decided to head to Portobello beach, and that ended up being a better plan than we expected...

The beach was lit up by the sun (a rarity, as you already know), and there were loads of families lining the promenade, still beaming with holiday cheer. It made me happy just being in the midst of it! I was pleasantly surprised to see that the coffee houses and restaurants were open, considering that today is Boxing Day (a holiday originally marked by generosity).  Some would consider this day to be like a second Christmas, and I like that concept a lot, considering my aforementioned "sad face".

It only seemed right after our 30 minute stroll to enjoy a warm cup of coffee and some soup at The Beach House restaurant.  The only problem was that the place was packed, and there was nowhere to sit.  The host noticed us waiting for a table, but somehow all of the families who came in after us were given a seat first (that's not the generosity part I was referring to, ha).  We were eventually seated at a large table that already had a couple sitting there.  At first I thought, this is super weird.  Why would they put us at a table where people are already seated?  Well, we chose to sit at this table, because we knew it would be awhile to get another table, and maybe we could make new friends.  That is actually what happened.

This lovely couple, Ann and Brian from Manchester, embraced our awkward situation and immediately initiated the conversation.  I was relieved to know that they were talkers, because it helped not make things so odd.  We chatted the entire meal about their experience in the states, their views on health care (yes, people have opinions about ObamaCare here, too), and their family.  They gave us great advice about enjoying Micah and remembering that she needs our time more than she needs our money (I'm glad, because ministry makes people so wealthy).  Their kindness was evident in the way they randomly offered to help us out if we need anything during our stay here, gave us some new coffee shops to try out, and surprised us at the end of the meal with a card with their number on it, and a surprise free lunch.  I just sat there drop-jawed at the whole situation.  I remember my mom (and several others) prayed specifically for someone to be like a stand-in Gramma while we are here, and Ann even emphasized that she is an "experienced grandmother" who is ready at any time for a cuddle. 

I'm pretty sure God had something to do with this day.  I am amazed at His provision and kindness toward us.  We could have sat around all day and stared at the wall.  I could have stayed in my "sad face" mode.  We could have turned this into a chore day, but what God had for us was better (as it usually is) - meeting wonderful new people, who we know love Him, and who genuinely express His heart towards others.  That's Christmas, right there!  I'm so grateful for Ann and Brian, and I have a feeling we will be seeing them soon.

Merry Christmas, everyone!  Happy Boxing Day, too! 

 

Ministry jobs

Kirk is starting to look for ministry jobs, because we are going into the "real world" outside of school after this year-long adventure. We have to think of our next steps whilst still being present here. Only God can do that kind of balancing act! 

Say a prayer... It's gettin' CRAZY-- haha! Jk! But really, say a prayer. We want to make sure we find the best fit for his giftings.