Thankful, mixed emotions...

Happy Thanksgiving! What a wonderful holiday filled with tradition and the over-abundance of groceries! I am sitting here this morning, looking out my window at the city of Edinburgh, and I am grateful that we get to spend this evening with new friends at our new church, but it would be dishonest of me to say I am not struggling at the same time. There is a battle between the adventurous side of me that says it's fun to make new traditions and the sentimental, nostalgic side of me that says  where the heck is my family?.
Needless to say, I'm spending quite a bit of time this morning (thankfully Micah is a wonderful sleeper) going before The Lord and asking Him to show me what Thanksgiving looks like from His perspective. If we look at it from His eye-view, I think we find that it doesn't just fall on the fourth Thursday of every November, but rather, it falls whenever we turn to Him and adore Him and celebrate what we have in Him (which is a bunch)!
As I thank God for this precious little family of three that I have and traditions, new and old, I am reminded that whether I am in a room full of people or I'm by myself (like right now), I have the closest friend imaginable. His name is Jesus, and he's pretty wonderful. The words to an old hymn flooded my mind this morning, and they brought me a lot of joy:

1. What a friend we have in Jesus,
   All our sins and griefs to bear!
   What a privilege to carry
   Everything to God in prayer!
   Oh, what peace we often forfeit,
   Oh, what needless pain we bear,
   All because we do not carry
   Everything to God in prayer!
2. Have we trials and temptations?
   Is there trouble anywhere?
   We should never be discouraged—
   Take it to the Lord in prayer.
   Can we find a friend so faithful,
   Who will all our sorrows share?
   Jesus knows our every weakness;
   Take it to the Lord in prayer.
3. Are we weak and heavy-laden,
   Cumbered with a load of care?
   Precious Savior, still our refuge—
   Take it to the Lord in prayer.
   Do thy friends despise, forsake thee?
   Take it to the Lord in prayer!
   In His arms He’ll take and shield thee,
   Thou wilt find a solace there.
4. Blessed Savior, Thou hast promised
   Thou wilt all our burdens bear;
   May we ever, Lord, be bringing
   All to Thee in earnest prayer.
   Soon in glory bright, unclouded,
   There will be no need for prayer—
   Rapture, praise, and endless worship
   Will be our sweet portion there.
5. So, however you're spending your holiday, be encouraged that you are loved and you're never alone. Jesus is the best comforter, and his never off-duty. In fact, he LOVES when we turn our affection toward him. 
6. Have a beautiful, thankful, joy-filled November 28!

Oh, launderette! I'm glad we met!

In light of the recent bug that came into our home with a vengeance, we developed quite the massive mountain of laundry (I'm talking 4-5 loads).  Not sure how many people know this about the UK, but many homes do not come with a dryer, so the common thing to do is to hang-dry clothes.  This aforementioned type of drying was not going to cut it for me if I was going to have a peaceful weekend free from said mountain.  That's when I went searching for an alternative method of cleaning our clothes, and it changed my world... no joke- I was like a kid in a candy store about this laundry place (I know, I'm pretty easy to thrill, I guess)!

I called the launderette to see if they had any machines open, and this woman answered the phone with one of the thickest Scottish accent I have heard since being here, and after every statement she made, she referred to me as "meh darlin'"... I knew I had called the right place.  I mean, that's the perfect mix of southern and Scottish hospitality.  I had to check this place out.

Instead of boring you with a complete chronology of events that occurred at this marvelous place, I will give you the top five reasons why I am a believer in coin-operated laundry as opposed to the home-drying system:

1. As previously stated, dryers!  No more stinky sweatshirts and jeans!  I used to hate having to pay for the washers and dryers at Gordon Conwell, but that system is a step above what we have now, so I retro-actively appreciate what we had :) ha!
2. A moment away for this mama- Gill, the "meh darlin'" lady serves tea, coffee, and biscuits (cookies) to her clients- yes, please!
3. Workers that call you, "meh darlin'" and remind you of your grandmother
4. All the week's laundry is complete in two hours, as opposed to staring at drying racks in the living room every waking moment (we have a baby, remember).
5. It's just FUN!

This concludes my commercial.  Thanks for enduring this randomness!

Stomping on the "Virus from the Black Lagoon"

So, it all started a couple of weeks ago when we were leaving to go to London... Remember that cough I was talking about?  Well, Micah has apparently been fighting the same "bug" that caused that... and it she's a trooper. 

All week Micah has been "off", and I could tell because she hasn't been her usual self, which typically consists of all-day smiles and happy babble. It all came to a yucky head yesterday when she woke up.  We heard her making a shrill-like, miserable cry, and we both knew she was not having a good day.  She is pretty good at communicating how she's feeling, which is a characteristic I love about her. 

She had a snot-covered, red-eyed, splotchy face, but she was still trying hard to smile when we greeted her... it just wasn't easy, because she was a wee bit frustrated about life at that particular moment.  As the morning progressed, I felt her getting hotter to the touch, and as diaper changes continued to increase in number due to sneeze-induced "sharts", I decided it was time to call her new GP (General Practitioner).  When I called, she immediately responded and agreed to see MG as soon as we could get to the office- thank you NHS (National Heath Service)! 

The doc was kind and gentle with Micah.  She told me that she is battling a virus, and that it could take up to 3 weeks to completely fade out of her system- what?  That's crazy talk!  You mean I have to battle this spitty, pukey, mucusy, laundry-backlogging, miserable beast-of-a-virus for THAT long?  We decided this is probably the worst of it, and that she's on her way to her happy self in no time (a prayer in faith-ha).

When I put Micah down for her nap yesterday, I breathed a sigh of relief, because I had a "moment" of calm, and as I poured my coffee I heard so clearly in my mind this phrase, "freely you have received, freely give."  Hmmm... what do you mean, Lord?  I wrestled with this thought for a few moments, and then I thought I'd go to the source of this phrase-Matthew 10 (I didn't just know this reference off the top of my head, I had to search a bit- I'm not a Bible School "scholar" :) ). 

As I read through this passage, I felt a nudge.  This "nudge" was encouraging, yet humbling at the same time, because when I have been talking about "ministry" lately, I thought it referred to loving and  serving others I encounter outside of our home through the day.  But as I read through Jesus' commission to his disciples to give and serve freely, I sensed that God was redirecting the target of my "ministry"- my baby girl.  I spent quite a bit of time thanking God for the 24/7 time I get to spend with her during this year-long adventure, whether it means she's 100% joyful or 100% miserable. 

So, this so called "virus" is gonna be outta here soon, but during the in-between, I choose to love her, wipe her, sing to her, wipe her again, suck her snot, and cuddle. 

All I can say is, grace is good.  I understand a bit more what my mom meant when she said, "you won't understand until you have your own kids..." She mentioned this phrase during multiple situations as Scott and I were growing up, and I "get it" now.

A little "shout out" to parents everywhere- you ROCK at what you do!  You serve your kids with the love that God placed in your heart to give them, and you're doing a great job!  "Freely you have received, freely give", whether that be your babies, toddlers, tweens or grown kids... or anyone else!  Ministry is messy-sometimes quite literally :), but keep going, and even when you feel you've reached your "limit", there's more strength available to you, just ask.

Thanks for the love, Momma!  Thanks for "freely giving" to us.  Thanks for not expecting anything in return and for setting a beautiful example of how God interacts with us.

"Down by the Bay"

There is nothing quite like walking to church on a crisp, sunny morning in Edinburgh while following behind a "wee" red-headed Scottish girl (in pigtails, no less) singing for all the world to hear, "Down by the Bay, where the 'oak trees' grow..."  I guess she made up her own version, or maybe they sing it a bit differently here.  Either way, Kirk and I just loved watching this girl, because even when she noticed that we were listening, she turned back around and kept on going.  I loved how carefree and confident she was!  That's a great start to a day, if you ask me!

I really enjoyed church today!  It is always great, because the people are so welcoming, but today was especially wonderful because of what I learned.  Our new friend Gordon spoke about welcoming "outsiders" to the feast/banquet (from a parable in Luke 14), and a couple of points he made truly struck a chord in me.  He referred to the phrase, "hurt people hurt people", which is such a true statement, but he challenged us to allow the Lord and this passage to guide us to live by a twist on that: "welcomed people welcome people" and "forgiven people forgive people".  Those thoughts resonate with me, because Kirk and I are training for ministry, and the concept of opening our home and our lives so that others are included is essential if we want others to see a picture of how Jesus would interact with them. 

So often we find ourselves wanting to interact only with those who are similar to us, because it's is comfortable or less of a hassle, but I guess that's not our full potential or responsibility as believers, is it?  I was challenged this morning, because I am the kind of person that seeks out relationships that tend to have some sort of common ground, but I know that the Holy Spirit is guiding me to open myself to other possibilities.  This means I have to let go and give God my plans and expectations of who my "friends" will be, which I'm not always keen to do.  We have been given such a gift in having an invitation to enjoy friendship and community with God, and so out of that, we are invited to extend this joy to anyone and everyone.  It's just not always easy.

I'm thankful for this afternoon, because I have been able to sit and think on this truth while Micah kicks and plays on her mat.  As much as I love community, today has been a day to sit inside, watch the rain start to pour, drink tea, and listen to John Coltrane's version of "My Favorite Things". 

Kirk went to his first rugby game ever with some friends from school.  He was excited to see the match-up between Scotland and South Africa- I bet it's a messy, intense game, because it is now a stereotypical wet Scottish afternoon.  I'm looking forward to hearing the highlights.  I'm hoping he is enjoying the game as most do, with a pint in hand :) ha!

To sum it up, a little musical, Scottish redhead singing at the top of her lungs, a great message (thanks, Gordon), tea, and rugby have made for a great day on all accounts!

Luke 14:12-14

English Standard Version (ESV)

The Parable of the Great Banquet

¹² He said also to the man who had invited him, “When you give a dinner or a banquet, do not invite your friends or your brothers or your relatives or rich neighbors, lest they also invite you in return and you be repaid. ¹³ But when you give a feast, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, ¹⁴ and you will be blessed, because they cannot repay you. For you will be repaid at the resurrection of the just.”

"Down By the Bay":
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aIlMyNXmfcM 

"My Favorite Things":
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qWG2dsXV5HI

So thankful.

I had a "moment" with Micah today when it seemed like time stopped. I was changing her diaper and kissing her sweet face, and then I just stared at her for a few minutes. In that moment, tears began streaming down my face. I can't explain what I felt- I haven't ever felt it before, but I am sure every momma knows what I mean.  I love this girl with more gusto than I knew I had, and I am blown away by the sweet spirit and joyful countenance that she already displays!

What an honor it is to steward this life! What a privilege to watch her grow and change with each passing day!

Thank You, Jesus! Please give us the grace, wisdom, and discernment we need to care for her as You would.

The season is changing here in Scotland, and the days are growing shorter, but when I start to feel hopeless or weary, I remember this little piece of God's heart that I get to hold everyday. Wow...

That's all for today!

London was fun-don!

We had a wonderful time visiting with our close friend Ash in London. When we headed down on the train, it was exciting as we remembered that our trip was free! This was such a special treat, because every bit of the money we saved for exploring around Europe was used during the visa debacle. God provided this fun trip for us along with a great visit with a dear friend and her family.

We arrived in London late Saturday night, and when we got there, I wasn't feeling too well, and Micah had a yucky cough. My first thought when we stepped into Ash's sister's house was maybe we shouldn't have come. I mean, we aren't even officially registered with a doctor, and what if Micah's cough causes her such discomfort that we need emergency help.  But after praying off and on for several hours, we decided to let go and trust The Lord with our precious, coughing baby.  Kirk and I finally rested, because she wasn't wheezing, she was eating fine, and she fell asleep peacefully. In the midst of my crazy new mom anxiety, I was reminded that God loves Micah waaaaay more than I ever could, and He has her little life in His hands.  I realize that this is small potatoes compared to some of the lessons we have yet to learn on our parenting journey-haha! Kirk and I prayed that if we needed to call a doctor, The Lord would give us the discernment we needed. From that point, we slept from about 4:30-7 am, and we were honestly relieved when it was time to get out of bed, because we were tired of the ups and downs that happened throughout the midnight battle between the Sleep/Cough Showdown of 2013!

The morning was relaxed as we woke up to a nice English breakfast made my Ash's brother-in-law. It was interesting chatting with him about his line of work in the police force in London. Apparently there is rarely any gun crime in the whole UK (must be nice). But, there is the occasionally "bum stabbing" that takes place as initiation into local gangs. Now, don't get me wrong, stabbing anyone is horrible, but when I found out the location and the minor injures of the aforementioned stabbing (the hind parts- hehe) I cracked up laughing! I was nervous that I laughed, but was at ease to see Ash's BIL, Liam, laughing, too!  Sometimes you just gotta laugh (or cry) at the crazy things people do!

London was amazing! Some highlights: London Eye, Big Ben, Houses of Parliament, St. James Park and pelican-feedings, Westminster Abbey, Buckingham Palace, and Hamley's toy store. What an amazing way to spend the day! It felt like Christmas! I told Kirk and Ash that I didn't want the day to end! It was seriously one of the best days I have had in a long time!

I'm so thankful that God helped me power through my anxiety/worried-sickness the night before so that we could enjoy the gift He provided for us through this trip. We may not have many more getaways like that during our year here, so we were beyond grateful for such a short and sweet adventure.

Check out some pics from our day:

Piccadilly Circus

Buckingham Palace guard in winter gear (apparently the red jackets aren't warm enough :) )

Westminster Abbey on Remembrance Sunday (a day when the fallen British veterans are honored)

The London Eye

Micah is telling the lego "Queen" what she wants for Christmas.  This picture was taken at the most incredible toy store we have ever seen- Hamley's on Regent Street.  It has 5 stories of eye-poppin' fun!

Ash, our wonderful friend, and her daughter Amirah

Big Ben sang to us

So thankful to have such a beautiful day to explore the city.  Kirk and Micah in front of the parliament building.

Taking a break

Possibly my favorite moment of the day-watching this man feed the pelicans in St. James' Park! 

"I'm flexy and I know it!"

We need God.

I woke up this morning with a bit of a heavy heart. Not because there is anything necessarily bad going on, but because I mourn for those who have been told mixed messages about the nature and character of God, and now they have become jaded. Oh, how I grieve this!
As I read through Facebook and other social media, I am reminded of how many perspectives there are about church, religion, and Jesus himself. The only solution I could arrive at in my heart is that there IS hope and Jesus IS working to draw all men, women, and children to His heart. I'm weary at how hard it is in our society for Him to clear away the noise and confusion that has been caused by... well, I can't even name all the causes.
I feel like His Truth has become relative in our attempts to make His message relevant. I am sad that people don't know how loved and valued they are by the One True Love. I am sad that it seems people (myself included) don't always trust God's Truth and go searching for some other "truth" to find comfort and validation.
I want my friends who (at some point in their lives) have tasted the goodness of The Lord to know that He is not finished pursuing them. I want them to know how His heart breaks for them to sense His TRUE nature- not a man-made gospel that is clothed in good intentions, but still misses the point. I want God's heart to be made known so freely and so lovingly- but this can't happen if we, the Church, continue to make it about us and our programs.
In order for God's name to be made famous, there needs to be a re-wiring amongst those who are unwilling to let Love take us to inconvenient, "yucky" places-places that might make others "think things" about us.
We need God. Everyone needs God. And we need to let God direct our methods of "messaging". May  God give us grace and mercy as we try and try again to keep His Message clear of our muddy one.
May those who are jaded take heart- He WILL finish what He started and He WILL show you an unpolluted version of Himself.

2 Corinthians 4:5-6
For what we preach is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus’ sake.
For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ.

Community

I had a thought just now...

Community (with the Father and others) is the lifeblood that will sustain us during any life change.

The more I engage in the community around me, the more excited I become about the stage of life I am currently in. A few days ago, I found myself constantly wondering what everyone "back at home" was doing, but as I started meeting friends and making plans, my heart made room for more relationships. Letting go is so hard, because there is a fear that sometimes sneaks in, like "they may forget about you" or worse (in my opinion) "they are having fun without you"... Well, I say "lies lies, go away. Come again NEVER!" I'm grateful that He uses times of change to call us out of ourselves and into community. Community, well healthy community, has always been a catalyst for God-nearness in my life, and I know this to be true because of what happens to me when I am tempted to take myself out of it- I can drift into a fearful, despairing person, full of arrogance and a desire to be the best.
I remember when I was trying I qualify for the Boston marathon a few years ago... My goal was so ingrained in my mind that when given an opportunity to run with friends, I often chose not to, because I was too driven by my self-proclaimed purpose. I was hit hard one morning when my two training buddies asked me to run with them. I sensed God's spirit convicting my heart in such a clear way that it was as though He said, "I have given you the ability to run, but I don't want it to be about you. I want you to run in groups so that you can enjoy relationships." Now, I didn't audibly hear these words, but this was the sense that I had as I headed out the door... alone. I continued to run solo several times, and then race day came. Guess who didn't qualify for Boston? You guessed it! Now, hear my heart- I am in no way saying that people are misguided if they have personal dreams and goals that are achieved alone, but I am merely suggesting that it is often difficult to maintain a humble posture if the dream or goal is not implanted by God.
Although I didn't enjoy the feeling of celebration that athletes have after breaking records, I crossed the finish line having learned a valuable lesson about the importance of "doing life" WITH people as opposed to "doing life" parallel to them.
Living in Massachusetts did a number on my independent, self-focused heart, because the hall where we lived was full of couples who were at the same stage of life. It was hard for me to open up the first year living there, because I had marathon-crazy tunnel vision. As our second and third years rolled around, I developed some of the strongest, most valuable relationships I have ever had (aside from you guys, Meggie and Liz). If I could sum up my time there in one word, it would be friends.
Now, we are in Edinburgh, and it's tough to move forward, but I'm beginning to realize that I don't operate very well if I don't make friends. Just this week, we have started attending a small group, and I am making friends with other "mums" here. I am so grateful for the way they have reached out to us! This process is handled more easily with an open heart!