And so it begins!

Today is the first day that Kirk will start his 9-5 study/writing. As we sat staring out our window last night, looking at a beautiful view of this city, I had a mix of emotions. First, I am going to miss having him around, like he was in Massachusetts when MG was born. Next, I felt a little scared, because there are still a lot of logistics that need to be figured out with my visa, which means we don't have healthcare (for Micah or me) until we get the bumps ironed out. The reason for the fear, aside from being a new mom in a new country, is that two nights ago, one of my worries was realized as I woke up to a snotty-nosed, helpless little baby. Yep, you guessed it- she caught 'Daddy's' cold. After the series of setbacks we had already experienced, this was just par for the course. And man, let me tell you- I handled it so beautifully... NOT!!! I immediately called my mom through FaceTime, with my 4 am, punk rocker hair and cried hysterically that I wanted to come home or have her here 'NOW'! I told her that I just can't handle anymore of these stressors and that I am tired of being tested. After all, we don't even have our phones set up, and "what if something were to happen?!" Do you hear Peace in my rant!? I surely don't. I need to get reaquainted with Him again. To add to my medley of emotions about our routine kicking off, I feel hopeful. I am hopeful that I will get to know some friends and that we will find some exciting places to visit. I am hopeful that Kirk enjoys writing and growing in his ability to communicate Truth. And I am also hopeful that I will get to know Jesus on a deeper level.

I became aware last night (with the help of my sage of a husband) that my life has typically looked like Jesus+______. Ever since we have been in Edinburgh, the '+____' has been stripped away (phones, constant community, entertainment, you name it), and I have been left with the question, 'Is Jesus enough for me?'

Ouch.

The truth is that my life often responds to that question with a resounding, 'no'!!

So, here's to hoping that by the time we leave this place, I will answer differently.