Community

I had a thought just now...

Community (with the Father and others) is the lifeblood that will sustain us during any life change.

The more I engage in the community around me, the more excited I become about the stage of life I am currently in. A few days ago, I found myself constantly wondering what everyone "back at home" was doing, but as I started meeting friends and making plans, my heart made room for more relationships. Letting go is so hard, because there is a fear that sometimes sneaks in, like "they may forget about you" or worse (in my opinion) "they are having fun without you"... Well, I say "lies lies, go away. Come again NEVER!" I'm grateful that He uses times of change to call us out of ourselves and into community. Community, well healthy community, has always been a catalyst for God-nearness in my life, and I know this to be true because of what happens to me when I am tempted to take myself out of it- I can drift into a fearful, despairing person, full of arrogance and a desire to be the best.
I remember when I was trying I qualify for the Boston marathon a few years ago... My goal was so ingrained in my mind that when given an opportunity to run with friends, I often chose not to, because I was too driven by my self-proclaimed purpose. I was hit hard one morning when my two training buddies asked me to run with them. I sensed God's spirit convicting my heart in such a clear way that it was as though He said, "I have given you the ability to run, but I don't want it to be about you. I want you to run in groups so that you can enjoy relationships." Now, I didn't audibly hear these words, but this was the sense that I had as I headed out the door... alone. I continued to run solo several times, and then race day came. Guess who didn't qualify for Boston? You guessed it! Now, hear my heart- I am in no way saying that people are misguided if they have personal dreams and goals that are achieved alone, but I am merely suggesting that it is often difficult to maintain a humble posture if the dream or goal is not implanted by God.
Although I didn't enjoy the feeling of celebration that athletes have after breaking records, I crossed the finish line having learned a valuable lesson about the importance of "doing life" WITH people as opposed to "doing life" parallel to them.
Living in Massachusetts did a number on my independent, self-focused heart, because the hall where we lived was full of couples who were at the same stage of life. It was hard for me to open up the first year living there, because I had marathon-crazy tunnel vision. As our second and third years rolled around, I developed some of the strongest, most valuable relationships I have ever had (aside from you guys, Meggie and Liz). If I could sum up my time there in one word, it would be friends.
Now, we are in Edinburgh, and it's tough to move forward, but I'm beginning to realize that I don't operate very well if I don't make friends. Just this week, we have started attending a small group, and I am making friends with other "mums" here. I am so grateful for the way they have reached out to us! This process is handled more easily with an open heart!